The Discouraged Job Seeker and an Interesting History of the Career Path

The Discouraged Job Seeker and an Interesting History of the Career Path On Friday I posted The Job Seeker’s Secret Weapon: MENTALITY, which I think is a really important post for all to read.  I referenced a guy that sent me an email that kind of triggered that post.  I sent him a link to the post and he had a brilliant response. No amount of massaged economic and unemployment reports can compete with the reality of what has happened to careers.  I think there is tremendous opportunity in the changes, but that doesnt take away any pain that we, from baby boomers to Gen Z, have to live with. With the guys permission, Im posting the email in its entirety.  Please take a moment to read what I thought was a brilliant message to me to brilliant to just stay tucked away in my own inbox: Hi Jason, Thanks again, it really does mean a lot.  It was a great blog.  You captured the essence of my feelings extremely effectively! Very cogent. Somewhat related, as a point of reference or context:  I notice more and more, on LinkedIn, the number of GenX middle tier tech-managers like myself, seemingly out of work.  I think the phenomena is bigger than it appears on the surface. Of course, I am biased Note: the following is a stream of consciousness rambling babbledeegook. Please do not hesitate to ignore/delete it. START RANT The fact remains: During the entirety of the 1990s, MANY techies (my age) were able to forgo classical higher education, because the demand was *so high* for network and systems engineers, program managers, and others across the broad scope of the tech industry.  We were so busy building the WWW, it did not occur to many, a college degree would one day (soon) become a bullet proof glass ceiling. In an ironically fickle way, those of us (as described) with a strong sense of ownership and responsibility were hit much harder than those who werent as professionally honorable (they typically remained in lower Individual roles)and here is why: Many of us climbed half way up the ladder into the mid-range of management; necessarily losing our tight grip on technical skills to broaden our scope. This is necessary to manage the synergistic boundary where strategic demands meet tactical implementation But, when the labor force took a huge hit after the turn of the century, suddenly, there were a LOT less jobs for those of us senior enough to have moved (half way) up the food chain. Now fast forward a few years, to the end of the first decade of the 21st century:  The juxtaposition of all those prior elements, in combination with human nature (middle age, building families) resolves into a painful mid-life professional crisis that is.quite legitimate. In hindsight, migrating above the day-to-day trench warfare of Individual Contributorship during the DotCom days, was not much more than a professionally brutal reminder of the Technology Caste system (at least here in Silicon Valley) we live within. The lessons learned: Get a degree I dont care what its for: just make sure it is from a reputable institution.  This can be a REAL limitation if you wait until it is too late (financially).  Note: I fall into this last camp See a shrink:   Getting educated in you is a HUGE benefit:  You are a mess insideUnderstanding *WHY*, will REALLY help keep your ego and emotions in check, when you are tested (like my cisco failure) Read up on psychology:  Understanding that everyone else is a mess inside as well, and that everyone else has the same physiological needs as yourself (wanting to be safe yet significant, and all the mechanisms we invent to attain this, for example) Deal with boring:  Understand that you cannot see the adventure lying in wait, just over the horizon (out of view)Watching that professional pot boil is certainly boring..but the steam eventually bubbling off can be harnessed to propel your career: IF YOU PLAN FOR IT. The concept that every job is TEMPORARY is absolute GOSPEL.  PLAN FOR REPLACING YOURSELF OR BEING REPLACED.THE MOMENT YOU LAND A JOB is the MOMENT you need to update your CV and start looking for the next one.  There is not a single company that can legitimately look out for the best interests of its employees at all times:  You ARE disposable; get over it, accept it.and plan for it. prep to harness the steam. END RANT Positive Mentality is challenging when you are starting at the bridgenot to consider the precipice it spans, but instead to consider its ability to provide shelter for you and your family.  That said, one of my favorite all time quotes is from Winston Churchill, and for the most part, I am known for being a stalwart proponent of his advice:   “Never, never, never give up.” I had to read that email twice, but really appreciate the perspective and the learning points. This is something I would give to my kids! The Discouraged Job Seeker and an Interesting History of the Career Path On Friday I posted The Job Seeker’s Secret Weapon: MENTALITY, which I think is a really important post for all to read.  I referenced a guy that sent me an email that kind of triggered that post.  I sent him a link to the post and he had a brilliant response. No amount of massaged economic and unemployment reports can compete with the reality of what has happened to careers.  I think there is tremendous opportunity in the changes, but that doesnt take away any pain that we, from baby boomers to Gen Z, have to live with. With the guys permission, Im posting the email in its entirety.  Please take a moment to read what I thought was a brilliant message to me to brilliant to just stay tucked away in my own inbox: Hi Jason, Thanks again, it really does mean a lot.  It was a great blog.  You captured the essence of my feelings extremely effectively! Very cogent. Somewhat related, as a point of reference or context:  I notice more and more, on LinkedIn, the number of GenX middle tier tech-managers like myself, seemingly out of work.  I think the phenomena is bigger than it appears on the surface. Of course, I am biased Note: the following is a stream of consciousness rambling babbledeegook. Please do not hesitate to ignore/delete it. START RANT The fact remains: During the entirety of the 1990s, MANY techies (my age) were able to forgo classical higher education, because the demand was *so high* for network and systems engineers, program managers, and others across the broad scope of the tech industry.  We were so busy building the WWW, it did not occur to many, a college degree would one day (soon) become a bullet proof glass ceiling. In an ironically fickle way, those of us (as described) with a strong sense of ownership and responsibility were hit much harder than those who werent as professionally honorable (they typically remained in lower Individual roles)and here is why: Many of us climbed half way up the ladder into the mid-range of management; necessarily losing our tight grip on technical skills to broaden our scope. This is necessary to manage the synergistic boundary where strategic demands meet tactical implementation But, when the labor force took a huge hit after the turn of the century, suddenly, there were a LOT less jobs for those of us senior enough to have moved (half way) up the food chain. Now fast forward a few years, to the end of the first decade of the 21st century:  The juxtaposition of all those prior elements, in combination with human nature (middle age, building families) resolves into a painful mid-life professional crisis that is.quite legitimate. In hindsight, migrating above the day-to-day trench warfare of Individual Contributorship during the DotCom days, was not much more than a professionally brutal reminder of the Technology Caste system (at least here in Silicon Valley) we live within. The lessons learned: Get a degree I dont care what its for: just make sure it is from a reputable institution.  This can be a REAL limitation if you wait until it is too late (financially).  Note: I fall into this last camp See a shrink:   Getting educated in you is a HUGE benefit:  You are a mess insideUnderstanding *WHY*, will REALLY help keep your ego and emotions in check, when you are tested (like my cisco failure) Read up on psychology:  Understanding that everyone else is a mess inside as well, and that everyone else has the same physiological needs as yourself (wanting to be safe yet significant, and all the mechanisms we invent to attain this, for example) Deal with boring:  Understand that you cannot see the adventure lying in wait, just over the horizon (out of view)Watching that professional pot boil is certainly boring..but the steam eventually bubbling off can be harnessed to propel your career: IF YOU PLAN FOR IT. The concept that every job is TEMPORARY is absolute GOSPEL.  PLAN FOR REPLACING YOURSELF OR BEING REPLACED.THE MOMENT YOU LAND A JOB is the MOMENT you need to update your CV and start looking for the next one.  There is not a single company that can legitimately look out for the best interests of its employees at all times:  You ARE disposable; get over it, accept it.and plan for it. prep to harness the steam. END RANT Positive Mentality is challenging when you are starting at the bridgenot to consider the precipice it spans, but instead to consider its ability to provide shelter for you and your family.  That said, one of my favorite all time quotes is from Winston Churchill, and for the most part, I am known for being a stalwart proponent of his advice:   “Never, never, never give up.” I had to read that email twice, but really appreciate the perspective and the learning points. This is something I would give to my kids!

Is Computer Science a Good Major Pros and Cons From a Recruiter - Career Sidekick

Is Computer Science a Good Major Pros and Cons From a Recruiter - Career Sidekick Is Computer Science a Good Major? Pros and Cons From a Recruiter Occupations Careers / https://www.edenscott.com/blog As a former recruiter for tech startups, a lot of people ask me Should I major in Computer Science?If youre wondering whether Computer Science is a good major, heres the dealI think Computer Science is one of the best majors you can choose and has better career prospects than 98% of other choices, but its not for everyone. So Im going to explain who its for, who its NOT for, and why.This will help you decide if you should major in computer science or not. Lets get started.Should I Major In Computer Science? Pros And ConsWho Computer Science is good for (and who its not good for)If you hate math and hate analytical thinking and problem solving, youre always going to be the bottom 50% of workers in software engineering or computer science.Maybe you can find a low-tier company and be average in that company, but the pay wont be great and you wont be working on anything very exciting or meaningful.And that negates some of the big benefits of why you should major in Computer Science in the first place! (more on this coming up).So dont do it just because your dad told you to, or you heard you can make $100K a few years after school (you can).Because if you hate this stuff, youll be miserable and wont be the guy making $100K anyway. The top companies hire people who LOVE this stuff and are passionate about it.Now, if you like problem solving, you like math, you like learning in general youll enjoy Computer Science. All the benefits above are true, and you will enjoy the career paths that Computer Science offersTypes of Jobs You Can Get With a Computer Science MajorIf you major in Computer Science, are motivated, do some side projects on githubduring your senior year to show you care about this stuff, and are willing to go work in a big city like New York, San Francisco, Boston, LA (or even a smaller city like Austin, TX), you will earn $100K FAST. Within a couple of years.You can do mobile app development (iOS or Android)This can be gam e development, mobile-focused companies (like Uber), or companies with a website that also have a mobile app (for example a bank or financial institution).You can join a digital agency and do a variety of projects, or go work for a single companyI recommend option #2. Digital agencies tend to burn people out, and once youre in its harder to get hired by a tech company with a single product. So if it were me, Id just start there.Whether you join an agency or a company with a single product or platform, you have some choices of what type of programming to specialize inYou can focus on front-end (the part of the website you can see as a visitor) or back-end engineering (how the interface you see interacts with the database and all the information you cant see). Or some people do both, which is known as full stack development.You can do web development, or build software that the public doesnt see like an internal dashboard that a companys employees use.You can get into data engineerin g and data science too. This area is becoming HUGE and these people get paid a TON.Its normal in New York (the city where I was a tech recruiter for startups) to see a good data engineer with a few years of experience making $150K or more for base salary. Im talking about someone in their 20s who isnt managing any people. Not bad, right?Why do people make so much after they major in computer science?Theres a HUGE shortage of talentTech companies, particularly startups, are STARVING for good engineering talent with 4-year Computer Science degrees (a certificate from those code bootcamps that take 12 weeks is NOT the same you dont walk out with the same fundamental understanding of computer science, algorithms, etc and companies know this).Sure, you can do a 12 week bootcamp and be a decent web developer, but youre not going to get hired as an engineer at Facebook or Spotify or anything like that.Anyway, my point is these companies have millions of dollars in funding from venture capi tal firms. Theyre not trying to save $20K on your salary if youre motivated and have a Computer Science degree from a good school. Theyre trying to find awesome people who will build their product and make it a huge success.Which means youll get paid very well, especially if you change companies once or twice in the early portion of your career.Long-Term Career Outlook for Computer Science MajorsIn the long term, if you want to lead people, you can eventually manage an engineering team or department.If not, you can look into something called software architecture. A good architect can make $180-200K without managing anyone.You can also create a product and found a company yourself.Computer Science is an outstanding career path right now, and if you’re going to a decent school in terms of the Computer Science program, you will have companies chasing you after graduation if youre in a mid-sized or large city.Other Perks of Majoring in Computer Science1. Tech companies treat their so ftware engineers like KINGSIf you join a tech-focused company like Spotify, Facebook, Apple, etc. (not a job where youre doing software engineering for Walmart, etc.), you will be treated like an absolute king.Most of these companies let you wear jeans, give you free food, and lots of other perks. Not all, but most.Is this going to change in the next 5 years? No.The world is being built in tech. More and more products are becoming connected devices physical products that have a software component and connect online. Thermostats, refrigerators, cars, etc.So were not just talking about websites and mobile apps here.Plus e-commerce is becoming massive. Amazon hires some of the best software engineers in the world to keep their systems running smoothly.There are going to be so many new areas like this, along with all of the traditional areas that require great software engineering talent (finance, gaming and entertainment, virtual reality, SaaS, etc.)2. High likelihood you can work rem otelyThis isnt guaranteed, and depends on the company, but of all the professions out there software engineers have one of the easiest paths to getting to work remotely.Other careers where its somewhat likely you can find a remote job:Skilled writing (copywriting, medical writing, etc.)Inside sales (phone sales)Customer support (low-paid. Not recommended!)Back to software engineering though. Why will you be able to find a remote job if you major in computer science?Your skills will be in high demand, and your day-to-day work doesnt really require being face-to-face with your colleagues anyway. Thats a good recipe for being allowed to work from home or anywhere else you want.Which Schools have the Best Computer Science Programs?Here is a list of the top 50 CS programs in the US. If you decide to major in Computer Science, try to go to one of these schools.Overall, Computer Science is a very good major for many types of students, and its what Id choose if I were starting my adult life over.However, the question of, Should I major in Computer Science? is complicated and depends on your interests, personality, motivation, and what other options you have.However, in general, Computer Science is a very good major thats incredibly useful and will give you the opportunity to build things that are shaping the world and being used by millions of people.And youll be very well-paid doing it.Also, if you want to be an entrepreneur in the future, a Computer Science background will be useful there too.(The only thing Id say is more useful is knowledge of marketing/selling, but those are things you need to pick up in the real world anyway. The stuff they teach in schools on these topics is NOT going to help you start a company or succeed as an entrepreneur. And you can find a co-founder whos a marketer or salesperson anyway, if you dont want to learn this stuff).

Top 3 Traits of Fantastic Creative Candidates

Top 3 Traits of Fantastic Creative Candidates No matter what field or position a candidate is applying for, they have to supply a resume that covers their background and expertise, however all recruiters know that intuition plays a key factor in selecting the right person for a role. When it comes to filling design jobs and other traditionally creative ones, theres even more importance placed on identifying the right person to fit the role and within the existing team. They will often offer a portfolio of their work with their application, however that can only go so far to tell you how they think, and how they work. Number one on my list when Im applying for a job is to go in with tremendous amounts of enthusiasm. Ive found that to be the greatest asset I can bring to the time Im visiting with recruiters and hiring managers. With rare exception, they will choose to work with friendly and pleasant people. Enthusiasm and energy can be a game changer, especially when you might be under qualified or a fringe candidate and youre looking to separate yourself from the pack. I recall several times being faced with questions during interviews I couldnt quite answer, but rather than duck and evade them or highlight other positive qualities unrelated to the inquiry at hand, I turned them into chances to talk about how much Ive learned and how quickly I can get up to speed. Nobody will get hired on enthusiasm alone, of course, but it can be a characteristic that helps you leave an impression on someone. Here are three other things to look for in a candidate during the interview that will demonstrate whether they will be a good fit within the creative department at your organization: 1) Collaborative: Freelancers and consultants can work well alone, but the majority of us feel relief in being a part of a bigger company. Theres no end to the benefits that come with participating in conversations with colleagues that will ultimately highlight everyones strengths and make your final product better. During the interview, you can get a sense of how the candidate will function within the team they are looking to join. Give them a chance to show how they problem-solve with a situation that requires multiple people and lots of attention. How they envision their role in getting everything in order will illustrate what they might be like to work with on a day-to-day basis. Its not just a role theyre filling; its a spot within a cohesive unit. 2. Assertive: Theyll need to get along with others, but also know when to hold their own and to speak for themselves. Its important that workers take ownership over their projects whenever possible, and having someone who is meek or standoffish could jeopardize your enterprise. Find someone who will make sure that the assignment not only gets done but also in its best form. They should take pride in what they do, and also in the brand they represent with their work. Make it clear to them from the start that your company will reward them however possible as they show their prowess for motivating others and keeping up the positivity. Be sure to bring up incentives and what they see as top motivating factors. 3. Humble: Even if they are masters at their particular field, they should know how to keep any unflattering arrogance in check. They should be able to seamlessly join a team and find their place. During the interview, especially on a follow-up one, you can learn more about them by asking them to describe times they failed and what they learned from the experiences. How they respond will reveal a lot. Listen carefully to what they choose, but also pay heed to how they say they grew from it. Even at high-levels of a company, errors take place, many of them unexpected. Overcoming adversity is key to a successful group. If you have the right people in place, when those issues arise, theyll be able to navigate around them together. A word of advice:  sometimes its the job descriptions that get things off on the wrong foot if the list of responsibilities and qualifications reads flat, youre likely going to get a set of candidates to match. When it comes to recruiting creative professionals, youll want to give them a glimpse up front of what you and your culture are like. Find ways to spice up the job listing to help yourself get in front of the right candidates. Dont forget that interviews and application processes are two-way streets and you should make sure you are also at your best. Some of the techniques that go into hiring tech or business people might not work for creatives. You, too, will have to do your homework and adapt to the clientele and audience whom you wish to reach. Author: Danny Groner is the manager of blogger partnerships and outreach for Shutterstock.

Which Jobs Have the Brightest Future

Which Jobs Have the Brightest Future Getting into college seems like it is the biggest thing students have to worry about. Once you arrive, it’s nothing but smooth sailing, right? Well, not technically. With today’s job market the way it is, choosing a career seems just as monumental as deciding which college to attend. The thought of becoming jobless after going through so much schooling is not exactly comforting, but actually landing a job seems increasingly difficult. However, there are some careers that are a little bit easier to get into, and it pays to do your research. With this helpful infographic from  CedarEducationLending.com, it’s easy to compare which job would make any parent proud and which ones might mean landing back under  mom and dad’s roof  for another year. Before heading out on a career path, with no turning back, consider something that’s going to be around for awhile. Nursing and education are among the ones that look to withstand the evils of today’s job market, while a job in the fine arts department may not be so wise. Get your applications out there, but before you do, consider your options. RELATED: Top 10 Rad Jobs of the Future [INFOGRAPHIC]

How Much of My Executive Job Search Is Tax Deductible - Executive Career Brandâ„¢

How Much of My Executive Job Search Is Tax Deductible As if landing a job isnt enough to occupy all your days and thoughts, tax time is fast approaching. Have you been tracking every expense involved with your job search, and keeping good records, so you can take all the deductions  you’re entitled to? If not, plan to spend some time backtracking and pulling it all together. According to IRS Publication 529 (2012), under Unreimbursed Employee Expenses, use the 2% limit (the amount of expense that is more than 2% of your adjusted gross income), for certain job search expenses in your present occupation, even if you do not get a new job. Note that this does NOT apply if: Youre looking for a job in a new occupation, There was a substantial break between the ending of your last job and your looking for a new one, or You are looking for a job for the first time.   Employment and outplacement agency fees. These are deductible unless the employer pays the agency. And, if your employer pays you back for the fees at a later year, you must include the amount you receive in your gross income up to the amount of your tax benefit in the earlier year. Resume. Resume preparation and mailing copies to prospective employers are deductible. Travel and transportation. You can deduct travel expense if your trip is primarily to look for a new job. If you travel to an area and, while there, you look for a new job, you may be able to deduct travel expenses to and from the area. If you cant deduct travel expenses to and from an area, you CAN deduct the expenses of looking for a new job while in the area. You can use the standard mileage rate to figure car expense (55-1/2 cents per mile in 2012). Disclaimer. Please note that Im providing general information here. Don’t take my word for it. Consult with your CPA, financial advisor, and/or the various IRS publications before following any of this advice, and filing your tax return. photo by Tax Credits 00 0

Survival of the Fittest

Survival of the Fittest I received an email from the new President of Ohio Wesleyan University, Rock Jones. In it, he praised the institution, its current students, alumni and professors. He also spoke about the future challenges of the school in the following excerpt: I recently received a nugget of wisdom from Paul Schimmel62. Paul suggested that evolution is not about survival of the fittest;it is about survival of the most adaptable.Rock Jones, President Ohio Wesleyan University Adaptable, flexible, malleable, pliantlook at the people you know and the companies that are successful. They exude this quality, right? Seth Godinwrote in his blog about the failure of the NYTimes.He states that the paper has some of the best writersand the greatest reputation but failed to adapt to the changing needsof todaysreadership. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, so is being on the outside looking in.Take some time and assess yourself. Look at your past successes and past failures. What dothey have in common? Losethe qualities you dont need or want any longer.Strenghten the ones that will take youinto the future.But first youmust have some insight on what the future will bring, soread about the bestand the brightest in your field, talk to them if possible.Ask how technology is impacting what you do? What does the typical customerdemographic look like and what are their needs/wants. Take an educated guess and prepare yourself for the next generation of work. It wontbethe same as weve known it.Adapt to survive.

Why I Quit The Avon Walk

Why I Quit The Avon Walk I didnt mean to write a 2,000 word post, but I couldnt keep this story inside I had to retell the whole day for you, for me, for posterity. If you wanna know Why I Quit, just know I walked 24 miles with my team in 11 hours the first day and skip down to after the Tired Feet pic. 4:15 am on Saturday came quickly, yet without as much drag as I was anticipating. I put on my tank top, my cropped workout pants, my cushy socks, my Reeboks, my hot pink Reebok/Avon long sleeve shirt, my new Survivor hat (hey I deserved the extra attention), put on my contacts and washed my face and brushed my teeth and put on a lil bit o make-up, packed my sunscreen and World Domination Summit water bottle into my already-packed Avon 10 Years bag, kissed my husband, confirmed Ready? to my Mom and bestie, called a car service, and walked into the darkness, thankful for the warm air and the 50+ degree temperatures. We got into the car and asked how much it would cost to get to 44th and 12th. $100, the driver joked. I responded, Were going to walk 40 miles for breast cancer. Does the guilt lower the cost a bit? He told us the real price was $27, but hed donate $2 to the cause, because every bit helps. Indeed, sir. Indeed. We zoomed across the bridges and up the highway, arriving to the Pier about 45 minutes before the Opening Ceremony was to start. We waited for our last teammate, my dear friend Harley,  to arrive with our team shirts (lovingly designed by Kat). We put them on over our long sleeves, feeling true to Team Awesome. We ate waffles, drank coffee, signed a huge lit-up tower, and hugged a lot. (from l-r: my bestie Lisa, me, my dear friend Harley my Mom sometime around 6 am) We made our way to the stage when we knew the Opening Ceremony was beginning, and the waterworks came fast and furious. We heard we raised $8.3 million to help find a cure and treat women whod otherwise be unable to afford it. We heard from those who were walking for their Moms, their aunts, their uncles, themselves. I raised both hands when the crowd was asked to do so if they were a survivor, and my team raised both of their hands when the crowd was asked if they were touched directly by breast cancer. We then clasped our hands together in a circle, cried some more, and started walking. It was 6:45 am. It was still dark. We walked past the Intrepid, past Grants Tomb, all the way up Riverside Park to the West 140s, watching the sky get lighter, enjoying the themed rest stops, gabbing away with each other, shedding our long sleeves and applying the sunscreen (yes, I bossed around everyone to put some on their arms and faces) under the 63 degree sun. We came down Broadway, stopped for lunch at 11 a.m, made our way over to the tents set-up in the park, and found a photographer snapping away. I gathered my team and we smiled together with our arms around each other, until I could tell the photographer was just taking some of me. Ever the stage mother, my Mom told him that I was our star, and he responded, Im drawn to that hat. He asked how long Ive been a survivor, and I told him an abbreviated version of my story and timeline. He told me hes been at this Avon walk for a few years, and told me about his wife and her mother, who were survivors with double-digit years in front of them. I like hearing stories like that. We need more of them. I used The Cancer Card  to score a hummus wrap even though I didnt have a green wristband signaling that Im a vegetarian (Im not a vegetarian, I explained, but I havent eaten deli meat since my diagnosis in November Take the sandwich was the response). We sat down for the first time since we arrived that morning, marveling over the 9 miles we walked already, but how we didnt know that we were going so slowly. We felt like we were at our usual clip 3-4 miles/hour but yet we were only averaging about 2. We blamed the fact that we were at the back of a bottleneck when the walk started, and all the traffic lights we had to stop at, and all the water we were drinking which made us stop at every rest stop to pee and fill our water bottles back up. (When Luke offered us water that night at dinner, my Mom exclaimed, F***king water!) We were back on the road, about a half-hour behind the deadline the walk gives you if you want to finish all 26.2 miles before dark. We walked past Lincoln Center and through Hells Kitchen until we reached Quick Stop C, where we knew Jena was waiting. Jena was a friend from high school who I hadnt seen since I graduated (thats 16 years ago, if youre counting), yet through the power of Facebook she knew I was walking, I knew she was crew-ing, and we made sure to find each other. She mustve been waiting for us a long while, but it was like she knew we were just around the corner. We saw her half a block away waiting at the entrance for us, and when she saw us she came flying. We hugged and sobbed fairly violently, and then we let go and she gave Lisa an equally big hug (she knew Lisa from high school, too). She then unrolled a sign she made for us after I graded my students math tests, and we sobbed some more, taking pictures and talking about the day and trying to jam 16 years into 16 minutes. It made me feel happy for every friend I had cheered on and made a sign for while they were running (half-) marathons. Seeing that sign, having that support, seeing this old friend, knowing the importance of what we were doing.it was the highlight of my day, quite honestly, and gave us our second (or was it third or fourth by that time?) wind. We were still running behind, and did our best to pick up our pace through the half-marathon mark at mile 13, and in hindsight, we should have stopped there, should have taken up the coordinator who offered us rides to the Brooklyn Bridge, should have had brunch and went home to rest up for the next day. Instead, I looked at my team and said, Were walking, right?! They nodded, ever my supporters, and we walked down to Chelsea, through Soho, through Lisas fear of bridges and into Brooklyn. We made our way to the Manhattan Bridge and saw my husband and stepfather at the base, waiting to cross with us. It was mile 17.34 then, and they saw our exhaustion and heard about our pain but also saw the fire in our eyes, and they let us keep going when we reached the other side. We took First Avenue up, through the East Village, passing 2nd Street and knowing we had 100 blocks to go. While we werent staying in the tents on Randalls Island (we are all Jewish girls from Long Island, and nothing appealed to us less than sleeping in a tent in the middle of October  after walking 26 miles, thankyouverymuch), I was determined to go as far as the footbridge on 102nd Street. We walked through Gramercy and hit the UN. We were still 30 minutes behind the deadline, and we noticed blocks and blocks prior that we had trouble getting on and off curbs. I stretched at every rest stop. Our pace slowed considerably. Harley turned to me before Mile 22 and said gently, I want to be able to walk tomorrow. Im going home. She got in the Avon van and I yelled, Great job, Harley! Woo hoo! My Mom, my bestie and I kept walking uptown, past the UN, past Mile Marker 22. I realized we started 10 hours prior. I was still determined to finish, and they humored me to keep going even though I can tell we were past our breaking points. After Mile Marker 23, I turned to them and said, Is this nuts? Should we call it already? My Mom said, Yes. Lets call it. I said, Lets go to the next mile marker, and then well be done. Once Lisa told Mom that weve already walked most of the mile, she agreed. We got to Mile Marker 24 at 5:45pm. We were supposed to meet Harley and her family for dinner right around where we were, but we knew we werent going to be able to get up once we sat down, and decided to get in a cab and order delivery at home instead. We broke from the pack (yes, we were slow, but there were people behind us the crossing guard yelled, Dont follow them!), crossed the street, got into a cab, and gave him my address. Lisa shut her eyes and we were quiet for most of the ride back to Brookyn. Every where we walked flew past us in the cab. It seemed like a waste to walk all that way to just drive back to where you were 3 hours prior, in a way. The cab stopped outside my building and I almost fell getting out. My legs didnt want to support my anymore. I walked bowl-legged to my door, passing a woman who, when she saw us, exclaimed, The Avon Walk is today? and I responded, And tomorrow, too! She told us we were doing a great job. We thanked her, limping. It was dark by the time we got into the apartment, but we didnt turn on the lights. Lisa rolled onto my fold-out couch in the fetal position, and I laid down beside her, and Mom crawled in beside me. We had a giggle fit, laughing hard at everything and anything our criddledom, why anyone signs up to do this to themselves, how on earth we thought we were going to sit down to a formal dinner, how Luke and Chuck will come into the apartment to find us in bed in the living room in the dark. (Tired feet from l-r: Lisas feet, my feet, Moms feet) We ordered Italian. We ate it in bed. We drank tea. We elevated our feet. We used cold packs all over our legs. We told Luke and Chuck about our day. They told us about theirs. Chuck lovingly laughed at our condition. Luke got us anything we wanted. I walked like an orangutan. Yet.I kept talking about Tomorrow. Sure, I knew the 13 miles we were supposed to walk was going to be a stretch, but we can certainly do 5 or so. Right? And then the Closing Ceremony? And then brunch? Right? There mustve been a conversation when I was in the shower, because I felt like there was an Intervention when I came out. My Mom set it up for Luke to talk to me about his concern, and he looked at me with those loving eyes of his and told me how Ive put my body through too much already. About how it was less than a month since my last surgery. About how Im not just like everyone else. About how I had to take care of myself. About how I shouldnt walk at all tomorrow. What are those stages of grief again? I think I went through them all. I was quiet as I denied it to myself, that I wasnt special, that I could do it, that I had to. I was angry as I thought of how my training got cut short, how my boob cancer picked me, how I really wanted to and my body wasnt allowing me. The acceptance crept in and the tears came and the anger cut back in, the sadness and the disappointment in the fact that Its Not Over. I think that, subconsciously, I had in my head that this walk was The End of boob cancer for me. The cancers definitely gone, the surgeries are all over, now lets-walk-39.3-miles-and-get-on-with-our-lives, right? I think what I realized is that as much as I wanted to put this behind me and  how much I was optimistically looking forward Im still raw. That as much as Im normalizing and coming back to My Usual Life, Im still healing. Im still angry. Im still sad. Im still stressed and fearful and shaken. I still have to deal with what the boob cancer left behind both mentally and physically, and I need to be nicer to my body and take good, deep, real care of myself.  I cant pretend that my body is at 100% because its not, and its not fair of me to make it act like it is. I was in schmemo just 6 months ago, had my Boobal Removal only 5 months ago, and my final surgery one month ago. Things are not all clear in this body of mine. I cried and cried that night, not being able to help feeling sad and angry and disappointed. I knew right to my core that it was the best, right decision not just for me but for the rest of my team but it was still tough to come to terms with. I did my best life coach-y reframe and felt better when I viewed it as a conscious choice to rest, to celebrate just with my team, to acknowledge all we did (it was so much!), to toast to family and friendship and love and the support that one person gives to another. But still, there were plenty of I should have known betters and Why didnt anyone try to stop me? and Its just not fair! So, we slept til 9:15a and had coffee on that living room bed in our pjs. We hobbled around to get dressed and met Harley and her family at my favorite neighborhood restaurant. We had a round of mimosas and shed some more tears and acknowledged all we did and how far we had come. We hugged and saw everyone to their cars and cabs and Luke and I went back home. The rest of the day was spent with pictures, with updates, with being on the verge of tears or letting them spill. While theres no doubt that we accomplished so (so!) much so much I feel like boob cancer took away that Finish Line from me, that Closing Ceremony, that We Did It! picture in addition to my breasts and my close-to-last childbearing years. And I realize: This will always be my fight now. I will fight for myself, I will fight for my family, I will fight for my friends, I will fight for my future children (there are times I wish I wont ever have a girl, so we wouldnt ever have to be scared of this, and then I cry). I will do this walk each and every year. I will sell T-shirts and sing ukulele ditties and do fundraising shows and donate part of my salary each and every year to the walk, raising the bar higher and higher each and every time.  This year, thanks to so much generosity, Team Awesome raised over $17,000  (we still have unaccounted-for funds I think the total will be close to $17,500)  for the Avon Foundation for Women.  Just 5 ladies (my Aunt raised money but was unable to walk) made a huge difference, and that was valid whether we walked 39.3 miles or 0 miles. So next year, we walk. We aim for 39.3 miles, but reallywho cares? Well do whatever we can to participate in Day 2, to walk with the Participant Processional, to cry amongst thousands of others and know how much we achieved. Then well do it again the next year, and the next, and the next. We fight with our legs, we fight with our wallets, we fight with our words, but regardlesswe fight.